Take Your FREE Core Values Index™ Assessment

Posted by & filed under Leadership.

Recognize Your Innate Core Values!

Get More Done… With Ease!… Find out your motivational drivers!

It takes 10min and you’ll discover in your profile report:
  • What causes you to conflict with others.
  • What values you base a majority of your decisions on.
  • Why you make the same mistakes over and over.
  • How you can improve your relationships with others.
TAKE YOUR FREE CORE VALUES INDEX™ (CVI) ASSESSMENT!
Image ambiguity word cloud

Posted by & filed under Leadership.

“Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.”

Gilda Radner

Whether you’re leading a team of executives online through working at home or several pre-teens through homeschooling, ambiguity is center stage. How can you get settled into this new space so that you can help others better settle-in? This covid19 is forcing us to restructure the way we do things, think about things, and simply BE differently. Some feel chaos on the surface, a bit lost and confused, while underneath a stillness, bits of clarity and calmness. Others may feel the opposite. It’s like having everything and nothing at the same time. It’s forcing us to prioritize what is essential, learn we can do amazing things with less, and growing our self-reliance abilities.

One thing that makes leading difficult in this covid19 ambiguity is making choices and decisions about an uncertain future with all the information we have, which is extremely limited because it changes each day drastically. We seek balance. We find balance when things are difficult, not when things are easy. Things are very difficult right now, and balance is quite fluid.

One of the beautiful opportunities covid19 is gifting us is the constant rediscovering of self-identity. As jobs, relationships, and even elements in our physical environment seem to crumble; we have an opportunity to observe our sense of self in these externals. We can observe how secure our attachment is in externals that provide safety, a sense of control, and well-being. So the shifting of these externals can help us connect more solidly to our internal core, the place of integrity within that aligns us to our values. This alignment helps us see and hear the direction our inner compass is consistently displaying, even in times when we lose our way by believing in external illusions. Once connected to your core and outer lives come back together, balance can come faster because external attachments no longer carry the need they once did regarding our sense of self. Through ambiguity, our sense of self can strengthen by connecting internally, making choices, and decisions based on core guidance rather than unpredictable external illusions. Therefore leading becomes a natural byproduct of ambiguity.

  • What am I observing through my internal stillness each time something external falls apart around me?
  • When I feel exposed and most vulnerable, what do I notice that I’m trying to hold on to externally?
  • How is ambiguity helping me balance myself, those I lead, and the world around me?
  • How can I become more comfortable in chaos? More comfortable in ambiguity?
Image of Sad Schoolgirl with face mask bored feeling depressed and lonely in empty playground as school is closed. Restrictions and lockdown as Coronavirus containment measures. With Quote Extraordinary Times of Covid19 "Extraordinary accomplishments are only achieved when we are able to overcome extraordinary challenges." by O.J. Brigance

Posted by & filed under #COVID19.

“Extraordinary accomplishments are only achieved when we are able to overcome extraordinary challenges.”

O.J. Brigance

Extraordinary times call for extraordinary cooperation, thinking, and dealing with right now! Keeping yourself, friends, colleges, and kids’ brains active, combatting loneliness, staying sane in the drastic situations you may be facing – all are part of new daily struggles caused by the covid19 outbreak. Of course, there are so many Apps and websites responding to offer help, and It’s impossible to check out all of them. So here are two bits of guidance that stood out to me, and I’ll tell you why.

Since last month many coaching clients have been asking questions about immediately changing careers, developing business skills, strategies, and how to take a business online quickly. Even my last online Coffeeshop Coaching topic was pulled in this direction by participants.

For all my coaching clients, colleges, and those interested in becoming a coach, the ICF International Coach Federation, which I am part of, put together a COVID19 landing page of resources that helps support our coaching clients.

As a life coach, my clients are also parents, grandparents, or knows someone who is. For these people, the National Geographic answered THE BIG QUESTION: HOW DO I PUT MY (SUDDENLY) STAY-AT-HOME KID ON A DAILY SCHEDULE? With awesome ideas, like virtual field trips, consistency tips, boredom busters, and so much more! My favorite was their family debate question.
“Question for family debate: If we can’t shake hands anymore while greeting someone (too germy!), what’s our best non-contact greeting? Here are suggestions from our readers, including a nod, a hand to the heart, an air kiss, and a split-finger salute used in Star Trek. Live long and prosper, indeed!”

Of course, online coaching support is needed now more than ever during this tumultuous period of extreme change! I’m available and ready to help as many people as I can online. Book your personal coaching appointment today! Or you can buy our popular Coaching Minute-Packs as a gift for a friend that can be used flexibly in your schedule for ongoing coaching support.

Image Delivering Food To A Self-isolate Woman or Quarantine At Home with quote, "The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' (危机 Wéijī) One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger--but recognize the opportunity." --John F. Kennedy

Posted by & filed under #COVID19.

“The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word ‘crisis.’ (危机 Wéijī) One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger–but recognize the opportunity.”

John F. Kennedy

Spring Equinox today marks the earliest Spring in 124 years! If covid19 is not crazy enough, add in a few earthquakes, severe storms, and tornadoes across the USA; but there is no yellow brick road to lead us out of this quite yet. Spring cleaning this year will be like no other on a global scale – getting down to what is essential and needed. Extreme change is intense and can create extreme fluctuation in body chemistry and perception of unfolding events.

Anger, rage, resentment–experienced in different degrees by most people can be distracting from feeling emotions like pain, fear, and lack of control. It’s not very useful to hang onto these secondary emotions. It only delays the inevitable and makes things more complicated when it comes time to take the mask off, and denial becomes no longer an option. A more useful strategy might be to look for and notice denial, then get out of it as soon as possible and courageously face a new truth. People often change not because someone finally convinces them to, but because of something happening that becomes undeniable! Daring to open up to new realities, new ways of thinking, new patterns of doing things is what is needed all around the globe at this time. Break the habit before the habit breaks you! Deal with your emotions before they deal with you! Work from the inside out, using gut-level common-sense-thinking combined with intellect and intuition for more creative integration and adaption to these rapidly changing circumstances the covid19 pandemic seems to be throwing at the whole world right now. This virus is taking the breath-of-life away from far too many, too fast, and currently only rising. It’s up to each of us to continuously breathe out of our heads and into the resources of our entire bodies for the wherewithal needed. This helps to access and calm all of the physical and physiological systems creating enough space, balance and stability to move us from one moment to the next with more flexibility, strength, and capacity to think and act. Reaction hurts far more than it helps. People feel alone in isolation and social distancing; be kind, present, and patient with people as they come out of their denials of whatever the covid19 is surfacing for them to no longer deny.

What can you do to help?

  • Be a listener
  • be more curious
  • Be a resource
  • be helpful
  • be compassionate
  • be more digitally aware, increase your digital skills as we shift to more eLearning, eSchool, eChurch, eWork eFamily Connections, eWorkouts, eParties
  • be continuously aware of your inner pressure and do something to release gradually, so you don’t accidentally explode when the next thing happens.
  • Shift out of stillness and into action before you snap and lose control.
  • Think ahead and strategize Plan-A, B, and C where you can to help calm fears stemming from not having a plan.
  • Read and learn more about what’s going on, taking breaks in-between to activate the body for integration of new insights and understanding.

Let the pressure building up inside push you out into a better being! Choose to be better and rise above what you thought before was possible! Expand and grow through this! Cultivate love! Expand the space you are in right now for more love! Embody a higher level of love in each moment! Slow down and deepen your breathing! Breath in love! Breath out love! Help move humanity through this crisis, one loving breath at a time!

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Today’s Cancellation COVID19 Takeaway from Free Coffeeshop Group Coaching – Berlin, Germany – 15 March 2020 is:

Due to current circumstances in Berlin, today’s event is canceled! My little update from this morning’s German media:

  • Schools, bars, movie theaters, etc. are closing in Berlin. Only restaurants can stay open.
  • Grocery stores etc. stay open too.
  • Berlin has 16 infected registered, mostly in-home quarantine.
  • BVG reduced its schedule already.
  • Hospitals in Berlin are allowing visitors only for children.
  • I’ll catch up later.
  • Ooops, I mistyped the number –it is 216 confirmed infected in Berlin. A number of them contracted the virus in just a few clubs that have been closed down by now.

Staying power is needed now more than ever! Yearning to look away or be complacent will no longer work! The Covid19, coronavirus, holding no prejudice against its prey, has plenty of persistence. Working together has never been so important; and also never so difficult. We all must participate together equally, shifting out of stillness into action and recognizing our part. Practicing patience, small things like washing our hands and not touching our faces, so when bigger, more drastic measures are called for we can do it easier without panic. Now that a more predominant thing begins prepare smartly, consciously take action using common sense. If you have internet, be thankful and use it to educate yourself about COVID19. Do your own due diligent research and listen to the experts.

Here is your direct link to the WHO – World Health Organization. Rise above blame, panic, and fear; they will not prevent you from getting any virus, especially COVID19. Get the facts!

A word cloud of integrity related items

Posted by & filed under Integrity.

“Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.”

Brene Brown

Today I challenge you to strengthen areas where you feel your integrity is weaker to bring more balance and fulfillment to your entire life. Examine what habits and skills you might need to develop for more integrity. Are you doing the things you are doing truly for yourself or because that’s what you think others are expecting from you? Make a list or a simple introspection of which activities you might need to stop and what areas can be improved. For example, being more present in conversations with others, thinking before you speak too impulsively, or admit when you are wrong quickly without justification or belittlement of yourself or others.

  • What is your definition of integrity?
  • How can you more easily admit mistakes, so you can more quickly restore balance in troubled relationships?
  • In a job interview, what’s your answer to being asked how you handled past situations where you were asked to look the other way or set your integrity to the side?
Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 05 April 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Find answers, take actions, & get results – Coffeeshop Coaching!

Join me online via-ZOOM for my next Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching! It’s free! You help choose the topic and direct the group discussion by answering a few questions when you register. To register, click this link: 05 April 2020

  • Be prepared to share something you discover from the questions you answer when you register, and ask more questions to the group via chat during the ZOOM- Coffeeshop Coaching.
  • Think about what you would like to hold yourself accountable for, and your possible next step. A coaching journal is a great way to create accountability and track your success!
  • Open your mind and together let’s uncover new perspectives and valuable takeaway tools for your life!

Virtual Coffeeshop coaching is confidential while using a more relaxed and informal platform that being part of an online coaching group can provide. We meet online via ZOOM over a cup of coffee, tea, or whatever is appropriate for your time zone. Although this isn’t corporate coaching, don’t be fooled into believing that the depth and amount of change to be achieved is any less. This style of coaching is just as committed as any other form of coaching just experienced in a more gentle and relaxed way of coaching support, encouragement and none-judgmental accountability. These group coachings usually last 60-90 minutes, and they are FREE!

If you are struggling with big changes in your life, need to make a decision, or just need to be heard, coffeeshop coaching can be the perfect platform for you. Coaching is a productive relationship enabling YOU to:

  • Creatively explore solutions
  • Prevent self-sabotage
  • Take actions that move YOU forward
  • Achieve YOUR goals
  • Attain clarity in what YOU want

Life is meant for awesome adventures, good friends, great coaches, and LOTS of coffee!

Melody Taylor-Fliege

NOTE: If the link above does not work, copy and paste this link directly into your browser https://lifecoachingwithmelodyllc.as.me/coffeeshop-coaching-free-virtual-group or go directly to the booking page on my website and click on the Free Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching appointment. To sign up follow these steps: 1) click the link, 2) click the orange set time zone button, 3) choose date and click continue, 4) answer a few questions, 5) click the orange complete appointment button, 6) then you will see a confirmation page and receive an email with the ZOOM link and meeting ID to be used when you join the meeting on Sunday.

Diverse faces of people from Coach Melody Taylor-Fliege's Coffeeshop Coaching

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

What is Coffeeshop Coaching? Find out more about it, about me, and how I help people leverage global diversity to more effectively handle the difficult challenges we all face! 

Don’t miss this live 30-min Blog Talk Radio interview! It is Wednesday 04 March 2020 at 12midnight Beijing China, 5pm Berlin Germany, 11am New York, 9am Denver Colorado USA. Click on the link to listen. https://www.blogtalkradio.com/closeupradio/2020/03/04/close-up-radio-spotlights-life-coach-melody-taylor-fliege

Where and when is my next FREE Group Coffeeshop Coaching? Find out here on my Free Group Coffeeshop Coaching Page!

Image of overview of Berlin Germany with words Berlin Germany Sunday 15 March 2020 Coffeeshop Coaching

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Join me in Berlin, Germany for my next Coffeeshop Group Coaching! It’s free! No need to sign up, just show up!

  • Berlin – 1x on Sunday, 15 March 2020 at 15:00

Einstein Kaffee, Alexander Platz 3 10718 Berlin, Germany (Next to Saturn)

“Life is meant for awesome adventures, good friends, great coaches, and LOTS of coffee!”

Melody Taylor-Fliege

Coffeeshop coaching is confidential, while using a more relaxed and informal platform that being lost in a crowded room can provide. We meet over a cup of coffee or tea, and although this isn’t corporate coaching, don’t be fooled into believing that the depth and amount of change to be achieved is any less. This style of coaching is just as committed as any other form of coaching just experienced in a more gentle and relaxed way of coaching support, encouragement and none-judgmental accountability. These group coachings usually last 60-90 minutes and they are FREE!

If you are struggling with big changes in your life, need to make a decision, or just need to be heard, coffeeshop coaching can be the perfect platform for you. Coaching is a productive relationship enabling YOU to:

  • Creatively explore solutions
  • Prevent self-sabotage
  • Take actions that move YOU forward
  • Achieve YOUR goals
  • Attain clarity in what YOU want
Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Takeaway From Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 01 March 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Today’s Takeaway from Free Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching – via ZOOM – 01 March 2020 is:

“The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man.”

Euripides

How would you rate your ability to reinvent yourself professionally or privately? Where and how did you begin when you learned to ride a bicycle? How did you learn to find balance, and how is that similar to what you are facing today? These questions surfaced in today’s group Coffeeshop Coaching. From CoVid-19 quarantine caused career and lifestyle changes to thought-through preparation for what may or may not be in one’s future, change always brings challenge. How you deal with change is the part that you can control. Baby steps may be a right approach to keep momentum and even maintain balance.

  • How do I bring balance into an unbalanced situation?
  • What mechanisms can I apply to strengthen my ability to work with imbalance and unfamiliar demands?
  • What is the next baby step I can take right now?
  • How am I bigger than the difficulty before me ?
Image of Group of people with business trainer at management seminar with blog post title Lead towards courage and values despite fear

Posted by & filed under Leadership.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

Eleanor Roosevelt, former First Lady of the United States

When asked the difference between fear and armor, social scientist and author, Brene Brown described that the most significant barrier to daring leadership is armor, not fear; because we all feel afraid, but not everyone armors-up. She asserts that transformative leaders acknowledge the fear through acknowledging the limbic drive of wanting to self-protect with some form of armor. Instead they stay in the fear, working through it with an open mind, open heart, and curiosity.

When leaders are confronted with multiple kinds of resistance from followers about moving forward, the leader can experience the push-back as a “not being enough trigger,” and respond with various armor-up-defenses. Defenses like “If you don’t do what I’m asking, I’ll replace you with someone who will do it!” or perfectionism – “oh, I’m going to somehow do better as a leader and get outstandingly good at this!” or numbing through hours of non-productive social media, eating or whatever.

Leaders working through the limbic drive of armoring-up are recognizing that the “not being enough trigger” (usually about some given leadership area) is merely natural fear and owning it inside as they acknowledge the fear as their own. They respond instead with (maybe clarifying questions if needed) some reflection of the push-back signaling “I hear your push-back. I’m grateful you’re telling me. I will consider this and get back to you.”

So the difference between fear and armor is that fear truly is a natural response, says Brene Brown. For many, armor seems the natural response. Brown asks that fear stays the natural response and that armor be a conscious choice by provoking the question, “Am I self-protecting right now in a way that moves me away from or towards courage, my values, and being a better leader?”

  • Am I self-protecting right now in a way that moves me away from or towards courage, my values, and being a better leader?
  • How well are you able to be both the observer and the observed when you are in fear?
  • When was the last time you responded to a resistant push-back from someone with a clarifying reflection rather than a reactive armor-up defense?