Take Your FREE Core Values Index™ Assessment

Posted by & filed under Leadership.

Recognize Your Innate Core Values!

Get More Done… With Ease!… Find out your motivational drivers!

It takes 10min and you’ll discover in your profile report:
  • What causes you to conflict with others.
  • What values you base a majority of your decisions on.
  • Why you make the same mistakes over and over.
  • How you can improve your relationships with others.
TAKE YOUR FREE CORE VALUES INDEX™ (CVI) ASSESSMENT!
Image of Group of people with business trainer at management seminar with blog post title Lead towards courage and values despite fear

Posted by & filed under Leadership.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

Eleanor Roosevelt, former First Lady of the United States

When asked the difference between fear and armor, social scientist and author, Brene Brown described that the most significant barrier to daring leadership is armor, not fear; because we all feel afraid, but not everyone armors-up. She asserts that transformative leaders acknowledge the fear through acknowledging the limbic drive of wanting to self-protect with some form of armor. Instead they stay in the fear, working through it with an open mind, open heart, and curiosity.

When leaders are confronted with multiple kinds of resistance from followers about moving forward, the leader can experience the push-back as a “not being enough trigger,” and respond with various armor-up-defenses. Defenses like “If you don’t do what I’m asking, I’ll replace you with someone who will do it!” or perfectionism – “oh, I’m going to somehow do better as a leader and get outstandingly good at this!” or numbing through hours of non-productive social media, eating or whatever.

Leaders working through the limbic drive of armoring-up are recognizing that the “not being enough trigger” (usually about some given leadership area) is merely natural fear and owning it inside as they acknowledge the fear as their own. They respond instead with (maybe clarifying questions if needed) some reflection of the push-back signaling “I hear your push-back. I’m grateful you’re telling me. I will consider this and get back to you.”

So the difference between fear and armor is that fear truly is a natural response, says Brene Brown. For many, armor seems the natural response. Brown asks that fear stays the natural response and that armor be a conscious choice by provoking the question, “Am I self-protecting right now in a way that moves me away from or towards courage, my values, and being a better leader?”

  • Am I self-protecting right now in a way that moves me away from or towards courage, my values, and being a better leader?
  • How well are you able to be both the observer and the observed when you are in fear?
  • When was the last time you responded to a resistant push-back from someone with a clarifying reflection rather than a reactive armor-up defense?
image of Newborn baby girl wrapped in white blanket crying and holding her mom's hands and quote "Chaos was the law of nature; Order was the dream of man." --Henry Adams

Posted by & filed under adversity.

“Chaos was the law of nature; Order was the dream of man.”

Henry Adams

How to keep moving when everything around you seems to be collapsing. Like a necked newborn baby kicking, reaching, and crying while searching to find its self in space until swaddled. When dealing with comfort zone disruption, one searches for familiar routines, ideas, support to get back to what’s known and familiar. The unknown is scary and provokes insecurity, especially when outside circumstances impose chaos. When an event, thought, or idea seems too big, emotions like hopelessness and overwhelm tend to follow. Believing in something bigger than self is one remedy. Self-empowerment through mind games like envisioning the love of one’s heart growing larger than the body, the room, or even the city can calm anxious emotions by making the perceived fear seem smaller than self. Danger is real; fear is not. It only exists in the future, and we create it with our thoughts. Therefore we change perceived reality when we change our thinking. Changing reality with thoughts does not work for actual danger like a building falling on us, or a tiger chasing us. Knowledge through research and learning is another way of growing more significant than what ails us.

  • What can you learn more about for your current situation?
  • What can you do to stay grounded during times of crisis?
  • Which of your strengths are most needed now?
  • What might you need to let go of?
  • How can you simplify?
Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 01 March 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Find answers, take actions, & get results – Coffeeshop Coaching!

Join me online via-ZOOM for my next Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching! It’s free! You help choose the topic and direct the group discussion by answering a few questions when you register. To register, click this link: 01 March 2020

  • Be prepared to share something you discover from the questions you answer when you register, and ask more questions to the group via chat during the ZOOM- Coffeeshop Coaching.
  • Think about what you would like to hold yourself accountable for, and your possible next step. A coaching journal is a great way to create accountability and track your success!
  • Open your mind and together let’s uncover new perspectives and valuable takeaway tools for your life!

Virtual Coffeeshop coaching is confidential while using a more relaxed and informal platform that being part of an online coaching group can provide. We meet online via ZOOM over a cup of coffee, tea, or whatever is appropriate for your time zone. Although this isn’t corporate coaching, don’t be fooled into believing that the depth and amount of change to be achieved is any less. This style of coaching is just as committed as any other form of coaching just experienced in a more gentle and relaxed way of coaching support, encouragement and none-judgmental accountability. These group coachings usually last 60-90 minutes, and they are FREE!

If you are struggling with big changes in your life, need to make a decision, or just need to be heard, coffeeshop coaching can be the perfect platform for you. Coaching is a productive relationship enabling YOU to:

  • Creatively explore solutions
  • Prevent self-sabotage
  • Take actions that move YOU forward
  • Achieve YOUR goals
  • Attain clarity in what YOU want

Life is meant for awesome adventures, good friends, great coaches, and LOTS of coffee!

Melody Taylor-Fliege

NOTE: If the link above does not work, copy and paste this link directly into your browser https://lifecoachingwithmelodyllc.as.me/coffeeshop-coaching-free-virtual-group or go directly to the booking page on my website and click on the Free Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching appointment. To sign up follow these steps: 1) click the link, 2) click the orange set time zone button, 3) choose date and click continue, 4) answer a few questions, 5) click the orange complete appointment button, 6) then you will see a confirmation page and receive an email with the ZOOM link and meeting ID to be used when you join the meeting on Sunday.

Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Takeaway From Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 02 February 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Today’s Takeaway from Free Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching – via ZOOM – 02 February 2020 is:

“the public is more familiar with bad design than good design. It is, in effect, conditioned to prefer bad design, because that is what it lives with. The new becomes threatening, the old reassuring.”

Paul Rand, graphic designer
Website wireframe sketch and programming code on digital table - Used to imagine designing your own Self-Compassion App
If you could design a self-compassion App, what would be your favorite things about the App?

Our topic was around Self-Compassion.

If you could design a self-compassion App, what would be your favorite things about the App? This question opened ideas around an App designed to recognize non-compassionate patterns within, alert us before they turn into behaviors, and inspire us to take actions in daily routines that are more self-compassionate. What would happen in your life if your Self-Compassion App woke you up each morning with a meditation like the following?

Start Today with More Self-Compassion
  • What cool things would you design into your self-compassion App?
  • How is your current situation requiring something new from you?
  • What do you keep trying to hold onto for reassurance in your life, and how can you let it go?
Cartoon image of man reading newspaper in chair and woman standing on bricks on beach looking at incoming tsunami and words "Oh great, just when I've cleaned up from the earthquake." For coaching blog post titled, "What to do when life is up-in-the-air?" Crossroads

Posted by & filed under Change.

Your relationship ended! You got laid off, fired, or decided to quit and need a new job; or even a new career! You need to move for whatever reason! ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!! Also, separately these crossroads are intense! The emotion is strong! The stress levels are high! Or better yet, you feel both grief from intense loss and relief that you can finally move forward, wanting to celebrate but feeling guilty if you do! OMG!… … … Now, step outside of all of that for a moment… and just notice!

  • What do you notice?
  • Where is the balance?
  • What do you notice to be true?
  • Breathing out of your head down into your heart… what do you notice?

“You once told me you wanted to find yourself in the world – and I told you to first apply within, to discover the world within you.

You once told me you wanted to save the world from all its wars – and I told you to first save yourself from the world, and all the wars you put yourself through.”

APPLY WITHIN by Suzy Kassem
Silhouette image of man sitting in meditation pose with a quote by Nietzsche, “You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame; how could you rise anew if you have not first become ashes.”

Posted by & filed under Change.

“You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame; how could you rise anew if you have not first become ashes.”

Nietzsche

Change is difficult, even painful because it requires the death of a part of you that is no longer useful in order to birth a new you – an element that does not yet exist. While old habits are hard to break, choosing to change can be easier than being forced from some outside circumstances like disease, natural disaster, or some other crisis.

  • What are you willing to give up to get what you want?
  • What are three choices you have right now?
  • Breathing out of your head and down into your heart, what truth do you find?
  • How is your current situation strengthening you?
Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 02 February 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Find answers, take actions, & get results – Coffeeshop Coaching!

Join me online via-ZOOM for my next Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching! It’s free! You help choose the topic and direct the group discussion by answering a few questions when you register. To register, click this link: 02 February 2020

  • Be prepared to share something you discover from the questions you answer when you register, and ask more questions to the group via chat during the ZOOM- Coffeeshop Coaching.
  • Think about what you would like to hold yourself accountable for, and your possible next step. A coaching journal is a great way to create accountability and track your success!
  • Open your mind and together let’s uncover new perspectives and valuable takeaway tools for your life!

NOTE: If the link above does not work, go to my Free Group Coffeeshop Coaching Page on my webpage and at the appropriate time/date click on the ZOOM link found under “Next Free Virtual Group Coaching” list to join.

Virtual Coffeeshop coaching is confidential while using a more relaxed and informal platform that being part of an online coaching group can provide. We meet online via ZOOM over a cup of coffee, tea, or whatever is appropriate for your time zone. Although this isn’t corporate coaching, don’t be fooled into believing that the depth and amount of change to be achieved is any less. This style of coaching is just as committed as any other form of coaching just experienced in a more gentle and relaxed way of coaching support, encouragement and none-judgmental accountability. These group coachings usually last 60-90 minutes, and they are FREE!

If you are struggling with big changes in your life, need to make a decision, or just need to be heard, coffeeshop coaching can be the perfect platform for you. Coaching is a productive relationship enabling YOU to:

  • Creatively explore solutions
  • Prevent self-sabotage
  • Take actions that move YOU forward
  • Achieve YOUR goals
  • Attain clarity in what YOU want

Life is meant for awesome adventures, good friends, great coaches, and LOTS of coffee!

Melody Taylor-Fliege
Image of a hand drawn zentangle rat 2020 with quote, "Sometimes what looks like an obstacle in your path is actually a gift meant to move you in a different direction." by Jane Lee Logan

Posted by & filed under New Years.

“While stressing over the past creates depression and worrying about the future creates anxiety, right now is all you need for peace which ignites happiness, good health, and prosperity. Wishing you a New Year full of “Right-Now” moments!”

Melody Taylor-Fliege

Rats are resourceful, persistent, quick-thinkers, and easily adapt to circumstances. They are constantly on the alert for opportunities to gather and collect, yet without the worry of what others think about them. The cycle of the Chinese zodiac calendar begins with the rat bringing in new beginnings and transformative energy full of opportunity to advance, expand, and prosper. This is a year to dare more with respect to humanity and the environment. Wake up to be more accountable for the impact individual choices have at the global level. Focus on charting a course forward that is in alignment with personal values and the values we all share for our future together. Find ways to optimize your internal resources by focusing on what gives you satisfaction and more fulfillment. Use this drive to create and sustain success not only for self but also to help those around us.

Rats can be 进退首鼠, jìn tuì shǒu shǔ: “Hesitant to advance or retreat.” Meaning: Indecisive. While they can be reserved, if pushed, they can also attack with an extremely aggressive force. This year might be a year to use highly constructive words in our communication, especially in advancing our new ideas into the world. Although indecisive when analyzing a situation, rats are great problem solvers and figure out a solution at high speed and move quickly once they focus. Reminding us to stress less about what others think, focus on our goals, and “fail, forward, fast!” Meaning take action quickly – hurry and get what does work out of the way to get on to what will work.

Use the rat energy of this year to creatively find solutions to the challenges you face and open up to new perspectives of how each challenge is enabling you to expand into a stronger, better version of you! Give yourself space to learn and develop through the opportunities the Year of the Rat offers you, have fun along the way, and enjoy life!

  • In what ways can you better adapt to new, innovative ways of moving forward?
  • How can you continuously look for opportunities without being overstressed?
  • How can you better focus on your goals without neglecting your essential relationships?
  • How can you best use the rat’s ability to focus on priorities?
  • How can you use the rat’s problem solving to better face this year’s challenges?
  • How can you take ancient wisdom and apply it in your modern life in a way that is compatible with our planet’s evolution and to humanity’s best course forward?
Image of Idaho Falls with words Coffeeshop Coaching Takeaway from Idaho Falls, Idaho USA Sunday 15 December 2019

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Today’s takeaway from Free Coffeeshop Group Coaching – Idaho Falls, ID USA – 15 December 2019 is:

“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.”

Rumi

Life is full of opportunities to change; let go of the past, move into something new. Change is uncomfortable even when we choose to embrace the unfamiliar. It takes courage to choose change. It also takes courage to move through unanticipated change from natural disasters to internal diseases that force us to make choices we may not be ready to make or may regret later. Coaching tools help us to change our perspective and see things for what they are rather than repeated story loops dictated by the past. One of the beautiful things about coaching is co-creating change navigating tools that are customized to one’s personal situation along life’s journey. Tools that help distance us from the difficult emotions in change help us navigate change and make better decisions. Today we used common sense and simplicity from the 5-Elements coaching tool to bring more balance to the emotions attached to past events.

  • What is a favorite coaching tool for you?
  • How have you applied simplicity to move ahead?
  • Which coaching tool have you tried that you would you describe as the most efficient?
Image of Loveland Pass, Continental Divide covered with snow with the words Takeaway from Loveland, Colorado USA Wednesday 11 December 2019 Coffeeshop Coaching

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Today’s takeaway from Free Coffeeshop Group Coaching – Loveland, CO USA – 11 December 2019 is:

“Coaching is like rearranging the pieces of the puzzle just enough to create a new perspective that ignites new thinking. New thinking applied to old patterns can produce new impulses for action.”

Melody Taylor-Fliege

There is nothing like enjoying a fresh cup of coffee at the base of The Rocky Mountains in a café full of people interested in change! And when modern devices are not cooperating for a PowerPoint presentation, it’s time to dance in the moment! This coffeeshop coaching, meant to focus on the 5-Elements coaching tool top down, turned it upside down! As the group mingled asking each other questions using colors, words, and experiences to dive deeper into discussions relevant to personal coaching topics, everyone walked away with something new!

  • When your plan goes awry how well do you dance in the moment?
  • What resources surround you even now against what perplexes you?
  • How can an open mind keep you from freezing up and help you stay creative?