Who is to Blame? handwritten on a white background

Posted by & filed under adversity, Stress Management.

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”

Dr. Robert Anthony

COVID-19 has created a global lockdown forcing humanity to stop, stay still, reset, and rise up into something new. As the world again opens up, stresses are over-the-top for many. Despite the intense challenges and desire to blame, each day gives ample opportunities to grow, learn, and change. The challenge can be staying focused on what to do and not do because of the circumstances rather than blaming another person. Solutions can be more difficult to find when you blame others for your experience because blame twists the situation. Blame does not allow authentic self-responsibility.

How can you stand up against something without becoming the very thing you are fighting against? Staying grounded with so much anger, rage, and aggression all around is difficult, and doable. You may think you see the whole picture, but COVID-19 is squeezing humanity in a way that doesn’t ease the tension. So if you look deeper underneath the chaotic illusion for a more beautiful perspective, what can you find that nourishes, breathes new life, creates more love? There is no limit to what is possible even in chaotic times like we find ourselves only choice, and choice comes with consequences. Take what is given to you and utilize it in the most compassionate way that you can to expand the love, hope, and generosity!

  • What is happening for you right now?
  • How is this a repeat of something familiar in your life, trying to get your attention?
  • Which of your values does this bring up, and why?
  • How have you grown beyond where you were before COVID-19?
  • How are you rising from the COVID-19 squeeze?
  • What if this situation required you to walk through security screening, but rather than a metal-detector, you walk through a blame-detector? What lights up for you?
  • If you apply new thinking compared to your old ways of thinking before COVID-19, what does the solution look like?
  • How can you move away from your worries? What can you focus on that will bring you more stability?
Cartoon of car at high speed hitting an old man and birds. The purpose is to show speed bumps in life are meant to slow you down for surprises

Posted by & filed under #COVID19.

“Life’s road is full of twists and turns and obstacles of varying degrees. Some speed bumps look far more dangerous than they actually are. Some speed bumps can rip the bottom off your vehicle. Even so, speed bumps are meant to temporarily slow you down to a safer speed and prepare you to be able to stop for surprises. If you’re experiencing one of Life’s speed bumps, curiously look for what it’s trying to show you!”

Melody Taylor-Fliege

We live in a diverse world that comes with multi-cultural exchange and interaction, which goes beyond any level that could be imagined before the existence of the Internet. Soon the world as a whole will reach beyond the 5G speed allowing the transfer of currency, goods, and language at ever faster speeds and quantities. The COVID-19 crisis really creates not much more than a temporary speed bump in these developments. What that means, no one can really know. How does one prepare? Lean into it with self-awareness, know yourself, read lots of books, prepare to reinvent yourself repeatedly. Learn how to be comfortable in chaos and ambiguity and know what lies and truths actually feel like for you – how each resonates within your internal filters like your heart core center. The COVID-19 slowed the busy-ness of our world into a stillness that has allowed a lot of environmental healing and showed us what can happen when we stop for a moment, work together, and restructure how we do things. Many people in the fast-pace past felt alone and disconnected, although they were not alone. Social distancing helped many in self-isolation to re-connect relationships at a deeper level, some for better, some for worse. It has helped many people deal with relationship issues, including self-related issues they were too busy before to look at and address. In the process, it has restructured relationships at every level, personal, professional, global. It already looks unlikely that we will return to “how it was.” We can call this virtual upgrade the new normal because most entities that adapted through virtual connection will continue these implementations even after COVID-19 is far behind us.

  • What can you develop during COVID-19 to help you better create the new normal after COVID-19?
  • What is your Personal Development Plan that helps you connect with more integrity while serving the greater whole?
  • How is this COVID-19 temporary speed bump helping you develop?
  • How do truths and lies resonate differently for you?
Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Takeaway From Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 03 May 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Today’s Takeaway from Free Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching – via ZOOM – 03 May 2020 is:

“COVID-19 a virus helping us to exchange old ways of being with new ways of being, pressing us to open our eyes, ears, minds, and voices to something bigger!”

Melody Taylor-Fliege

In today’s Coffeeshop Coaching, we reminded each other that the specific situation that COVID-19 has forced all of us in one way or another comes with both challenges and opportunities. In our career planning, we are confronted with a shrinking job market, while at the same time, specific career fields are blossoming. In our relationship world, we are challenged by physical density and the intensified pains that come from tensions and “silent-treatments.” At the same time, we are very much reminded of the value of our relationships and encouraged to treat them accordingly, whether it’s remotely practicing social closeness or whether it’s sharing physical space in a gentle, loving, and respectful manner. Together we created an atmosphere of world-wide social closeness and proved that we have it in us ready to blossom under the conditions of COVID-19 restrictions.

ZOOM Coffeeshop Group Coaching QUESTIONS:

  • What is the reason to strive for this challenge?
  • What is this relationship showing me that I’m committed to?
  • What is (the challenge of what’s blocking me) showing me?
  • How do I make a relationship sustainable and not consume me?
  • How do I allow sustainability into my relationships?
  • How can I integrate steps/benchmarks to measure progress towards the goal?
  • What if the goal is simply one step?
  • What do you think you can achieve?
  • What story are you choosing to believe about what happened?
  • If my relationship had a name, what would it be?
  • What happens when I think possibility rather than probability?
  • Where is the kindness in this?
  • Where is the humor in this?
  • What is interesting about this?
  • What is growing the most in this?
  • How is this connecting me to myself? To others? To something bigger?
  • What I know to be true at this moment is?
  • What am I learning right now?
  • Which of my values is being stepped on right now?
  • Which of my values is being honored right now?
  • Where is the balance in this?
  • What is the most beautiful thing in all of this?
  • What is the routine in all of this?
Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 03 May 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Find answers, take actions, & get results – Coffeeshop Coaching!

Join me online via-ZOOM for my next Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching! It’s free! You help choose the topic and direct the group discussion by answering a few questions when you register. To register, click this link: 03 May 2020

  • Be prepared to share something you discover from the questions you answer when you register, and ask more questions to the group via chat during the ZOOM- Coffeeshop Coaching.
  • Think about what you would like to hold yourself accountable for, and your possible next step. A coaching journal is a great way to create accountability and track your success!
  • Open your mind and together let’s uncover new perspectives and valuable takeaway tools for your life!

Virtual Coffeeshop coaching is confidential while using a more relaxed and informal platform that being part of an online coaching group can provide. We meet online via ZOOM over a cup of coffee, tea, or whatever is appropriate for your time zone. Although this isn’t corporate coaching, don’t be fooled into believing that the depth and amount of change to be achieved is any less. This style of coaching is just as committed as any other form of coaching just experienced in a more gentle and relaxed way of coaching support, encouragement and none-judgmental accountability. These group coachings usually last 60-90 minutes, and they are FREE!

If you are struggling with big changes in your life, need to make a decision, or just need to be heard, coffeeshop coaching can be the perfect platform for you. Coaching is a productive relationship enabling YOU to:

  • Creatively explore solutions
  • Prevent self-sabotage
  • Take actions that move YOU forward
  • Achieve YOUR goals
  • Attain clarity in what YOU want

Life is meant for awesome adventures, good friends, great coaches, and LOTS of coffee!

Melody Taylor-Fliege

NOTE: If the link above does not work, copy and paste this link directly into your browser https://lifecoachingwithmelodyllc.as.me/coffeeshop-coaching-free-virtual-group or go directly to the booking page on my website and click on the Free Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching appointment. To sign up follow these steps: 1) click the link, 2) click the orange set time zone button, 3) choose date and click continue, 4) answer a few questions, 5) click the orange complete appointment button, 6) then you will see a confirmation page and receive an email with the ZOOM link and meeting ID to be used when you join the meeting on Sunday.

image of face mask, goggles, and protective gown and colorful words CORONA VIRUS

Posted by & filed under #COVID19.

Top 10 Ways to Transition through COVID-19
by Melody Taylor-Fliege

COVID19 – this! COVID19 – that! It seems never to end! Yet every day the sun rises and sets, and we have another opportunity to work with parts of ourselves that this virus does not let us escape—some good, some not so good! While dealing with your version of this global COVID-19 pandemic, consider the following.

  1. Let go of how things were “supposed to be” and accept “how things are.” Find appreciation for what is.
  2. Find support. Since your transition through COVID-19 affects your family as well, it may be better to seek the outside help of friends, coaches, or other professionals.
  3. Reassure (or avoid) those who are only negative or threatened by the fast-paced technological changes the COVID-19 is requiring.
  4. Take an honest look at yourself. What’s coming up most often for you? What are your strengths, weaknesses, abilities? How do they influence—positively or negatively—your transition through this crisis?
  5. Step up your self-care. All significant changes are physically and emotionally taxing. You need self-care now more than ever, e.g., rest, exercise, healthy eating, maintenance relationships.
  6. Engage your curiosity. What went wrong or right so far? What can you do better? What is working really well? Curious question everything?
  7. Work on your thoughts. Own your fears and reinforce your sense of hope and happiness. Be creative with your thoughts, always looking for new ways of thinking about the same old stuff.
  8. Focus on what you want and less on what you don’t want. Keep your eye on the positive.
  9. Use COVID-19 to reset bad habits. Like the panic, toilet-paper-shopping forces many to use fewer sheets to wipe and even consciously plan for more sustainable shopping, use this opportunity to look at and reset all your consumption, food, family time, study, work, and others to more fulfilling and sustainable habits.
  10. Keep things in perspective. Or try on new perspectives. Don’t get stuck. Remember, the only constant in this COVID-19 change is that everything is continuously changing.
Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Takeaway From Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 05 April 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Today’s Takeaway from Free Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching – via ZOOM – 05 April 2020 is:

Be the one who is writing your COVID-19 story!

“COVID-19 is forcing us to see how many choices we do have with less, and how we are writing our personal story through this adventure with a pen of which we cannot let go! What are your writing? What do you need to re-write? Do it now, while there is still time!”

Melody Taylor-Fliege

A situation like the current COVID-19 situation can make us feel powerless, fearful about our future, even desperate about future likelihoods. A constant firework of news, fake news, social media posts, the panicked reaction in our environment contributes to the build-up of various insecurities. The expected behavior of “social distancing” may go against our values, against our natural drive, and especially against our needs during this time of heightened fears.

Today we found a few successful ways to remain calm and hopeful in this seemingly hopeless and absurd situation. Taking advantage of the positive aspects that the condition of a self-imposed lockdown or a curfew is creating for us: time to stop, take a deep breath and look at the situation, we are really in. While it is essential to be informed through reliable sources, there is no need to screen every news source and every social media nonstop, expecting they provide the light at the end of the tunnel that we crave desperately.

Although news can be extremely informative, news media also make money by attracting viewers by selling the most sensational story: more infections, more casualties, more lost jobs. Nonstop reality can be too much to process; smaller doses allow us to transform it into positive impact, action, and sustainable change. Like covid19 is showing us the importance of taking a time out at a global scale, taking time out from news media inputs is also more helpful than the constant search for information.

Take a pause and remember: this will be over one day. What story do you want to look back to? Do you want memories of panic-buying and upset or calm demeanor, handling what you can handle, helping where you can manage?

  • How can I prepare my health, my knowledge, my job prospects for a brighter future afterward?
  • What can I do to make “social distancing” more pleasant for everyone?
  • What activities can make me feel more positive right now, a good book, a funny movie, a Skype or WeChat call with someone meaningful?

Your “social distancing” can be reduced to physical distancing with increased social contacts. Right now is the best time in history to live with a “shelter-in-place-order.” You can maintain relationships without being physically present like never before.

Be the one who is writing your COVID-19 story!

Image ambiguity word cloud

Posted by & filed under Leadership.

“Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.”

Gilda Radner

Whether you’re leading a team of executives online through working at home or several pre-teens through homeschooling, ambiguity is center stage. How can you get settled into this new space so that you can help others better settle-in? This covid19 is forcing us to restructure the way we do things, think about things, and simply BE differently. Some feel chaos on the surface, a bit lost and confused, while underneath a stillness, bits of clarity and calmness. Others may feel the opposite. It’s like having everything and nothing at the same time. It’s forcing us to prioritize what is essential, learn we can do amazing things with less, and growing our self-reliance abilities.

One thing that makes leading difficult in this covid19 ambiguity is making choices and decisions about an uncertain future with all the information we have, which is extremely limited because it changes each day drastically. We seek balance. We find balance when things are difficult, not when things are easy. Things are very difficult right now, and balance is quite fluid.

One of the beautiful opportunities covid19 is gifting us is the constant rediscovering of self-identity. As jobs, relationships, and even elements in our physical environment seem to crumble; we have an opportunity to observe our sense of self in these externals. We can observe how secure our attachment is in externals that provide safety, a sense of control, and well-being. So the shifting of these externals can help us connect more solidly to our internal core, the place of integrity within that aligns us to our values. This alignment helps us see and hear the direction our inner compass is consistently displaying, even in times when we lose our way by believing in external illusions. Once connected to your core and outer lives come back together, balance can come faster because external attachments no longer carry the need they once did regarding our sense of self. Through ambiguity, our sense of self can strengthen by connecting internally, making choices, and decisions based on core guidance rather than unpredictable external illusions. Therefore leading becomes a natural byproduct of ambiguity.

  • What am I observing through my internal stillness each time something external falls apart around me?
  • When I feel exposed and most vulnerable, what do I notice that I’m trying to hold on to externally?
  • How is ambiguity helping me balance myself, those I lead, and the world around me?
  • How can I become more comfortable in chaos? More comfortable in ambiguity?
Image of Sad Schoolgirl with face mask bored feeling depressed and lonely in empty playground as school is closed. Restrictions and lockdown as Coronavirus containment measures. With Quote Extraordinary Times of Covid19 "Extraordinary accomplishments are only achieved when we are able to overcome extraordinary challenges." by O.J. Brigance

Posted by & filed under #COVID19.

“Extraordinary accomplishments are only achieved when we are able to overcome extraordinary challenges.”

O.J. Brigance

Extraordinary times call for extraordinary cooperation, thinking, and dealing with right now! Keeping yourself, friends, colleges, and kids’ brains active, combatting loneliness, staying sane in the drastic situations you may be facing – all are part of new daily struggles caused by the covid19 outbreak. Of course, there are so many Apps and websites responding to offer help, and It’s impossible to check out all of them. So here are two bits of guidance that stood out to me, and I’ll tell you why.

Since last month many coaching clients have been asking questions about immediately changing careers, developing business skills, strategies, and how to take a business online quickly. Even my last online Coffeeshop Coaching topic was pulled in this direction by participants.

For all my coaching clients, colleges, and those interested in becoming a coach, the ICF International Coach Federation, which I am part of, put together a COVID19 landing page of resources that helps support our coaching clients.

As a life coach, my clients are also parents, grandparents, or knows someone who is. For these people, the National Geographic answered THE BIG QUESTION: HOW DO I PUT MY (SUDDENLY) STAY-AT-HOME KID ON A DAILY SCHEDULE? With awesome ideas, like virtual field trips, consistency tips, boredom busters, and so much more! My favorite was their family debate question.
“Question for family debate: If we can’t shake hands anymore while greeting someone (too germy!), what’s our best non-contact greeting? Here are suggestions from our readers, including a nod, a hand to the heart, an air kiss, and a split-finger salute used in Star Trek. Live long and prosper, indeed!”

Of course, online coaching support is needed now more than ever during this tumultuous period of extreme change! I’m available and ready to help as many people as I can online. Book your personal coaching appointment today! Or you can buy our popular Coaching Minute-Packs as a gift for a friend that can be used flexibly in your schedule for ongoing coaching support.

Image Delivering Food To A Self-isolate Woman or Quarantine At Home with quote, "The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' (危机 Wéijī) One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger--but recognize the opportunity." --John F. Kennedy

Posted by & filed under #COVID19.

“The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word ‘crisis.’ (危机 Wéijī) One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger–but recognize the opportunity.”

John F. Kennedy

Spring Equinox today marks the earliest Spring in 124 years! If covid19 is not crazy enough, add in a few earthquakes, severe storms, and tornadoes across the USA; but there is no yellow brick road to lead us out of this quite yet. Spring cleaning this year will be like no other on a global scale – getting down to what is essential and needed. Extreme change is intense and can create extreme fluctuation in body chemistry and perception of unfolding events.

Anger, rage, resentment–experienced in different degrees by most people can be distracting from feeling emotions like pain, fear, and lack of control. It’s not very useful to hang onto these secondary emotions. It only delays the inevitable and makes things more complicated when it comes time to take the mask off, and denial becomes no longer an option. A more useful strategy might be to look for and notice denial, then get out of it as soon as possible and courageously face a new truth. People often change not because someone finally convinces them to, but because of something happening that becomes undeniable! Daring to open up to new realities, new ways of thinking, new patterns of doing things is what is needed all around the globe at this time. Break the habit before the habit breaks you! Deal with your emotions before they deal with you! Work from the inside out, using gut-level common-sense-thinking combined with intellect and intuition for more creative integration and adaption to these rapidly changing circumstances the covid19 pandemic seems to be throwing at the whole world right now. This virus is taking the breath-of-life away from far too many, too fast, and currently only rising. It’s up to each of us to continuously breathe out of our heads and into the resources of our entire bodies for the wherewithal needed. This helps to access and calm all of the physical and physiological systems creating enough space, balance and stability to move us from one moment to the next with more flexibility, strength, and capacity to think and act. Reaction hurts far more than it helps. People feel alone in isolation and social distancing; be kind, present, and patient with people as they come out of their denials of whatever the covid19 is surfacing for them to no longer deny.

What can you do to help?

  • Be a listener
  • be more curious
  • Be a resource
  • be helpful
  • be compassionate
  • be more digitally aware, increase your digital skills as we shift to more eLearning, eSchool, eChurch, eWork eFamily Connections, eWorkouts, eParties
  • be continuously aware of your inner pressure and do something to release gradually, so you don’t accidentally explode when the next thing happens.
  • Shift out of stillness and into action before you snap and lose control.
  • Think ahead and strategize Plan-A, B, and C where you can to help calm fears stemming from not having a plan.
  • Read and learn more about what’s going on, taking breaks in-between to activate the body for integration of new insights and understanding.

Let the pressure building up inside push you out into a better being! Choose to be better and rise above what you thought before was possible! Expand and grow through this! Cultivate love! Expand the space you are in right now for more love! Embody a higher level of love in each moment! Slow down and deepen your breathing! Breath in love! Breath out love! Help move humanity through this crisis, one loving breath at a time!

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Today’s Cancellation COVID19 Takeaway from Free Coffeeshop Group Coaching – Berlin, Germany – 15 March 2020 is:

Due to current circumstances in Berlin, today’s event is canceled! My little update from this morning’s German media:

  • Schools, bars, movie theaters, etc. are closing in Berlin. Only restaurants can stay open.
  • Grocery stores etc. stay open too.
  • Berlin has 16 infected registered, mostly in-home quarantine.
  • BVG reduced its schedule already.
  • Hospitals in Berlin are allowing visitors only for children.
  • I’ll catch up later.
  • Ooops, I mistyped the number –it is 216 confirmed infected in Berlin. A number of them contracted the virus in just a few clubs that have been closed down by now.

Staying power is needed now more than ever! Yearning to look away or be complacent will no longer work! The Covid19, coronavirus, holding no prejudice against its prey, has plenty of persistence. Working together has never been so important; and also never so difficult. We all must participate together equally, shifting out of stillness into action and recognizing our part. Practicing patience, small things like washing our hands and not touching our faces, so when bigger, more drastic measures are called for we can do it easier without panic. Now that a more predominant thing begins prepare smartly, consciously take action using common sense. If you have internet, be thankful and use it to educate yourself about COVID19. Do your own due diligent research and listen to the experts.

Here is your direct link to the WHO – World Health Organization. Rise above blame, panic, and fear; they will not prevent you from getting any virus, especially COVID19. Get the facts!