Protective surgical face mask on a globe of the Earth with COVID-19 written on a yellow sticky note

Posted by & filed under Personal Growth.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

–Seneca

It can be challenging to shake off the old and open space for the new! Living focused on the negative of the past consumes too much valuable energy needed to develop oneself and create new ways of expressing who we are and how we can contribute more to humanity and in our unique space in the smaller circles in life.

So what was your toughest lesson learned this past COVID-19 pandemic year, betrayal, divorce, job change…?

As we’re about to turn the page towards 2021, what experiences have taught you the most from 2020? What are you planning to do differently in 2021? Some folks say their lessons were painful; others publicize them as refining.

My greatest lesson for 2020 is learning how rewarding doing what you love as an online career can be! Persistence and tenacity are a couple of the strengths I developed through the pandemic of this past year. Now in tough moments, I can look back over the years to see learned lessons from earlier years and how I’ve overcome tough moments like the one I face; therefore, I can apply it here too! How much do I want this! How important is this really in my life?

Coffee, pen, and napkin with words "Do something about it!"

Posted by & filed under Change.

“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.”

Eckhart Tolle

Do something about it!

Anxiety, frustration, mistrust, betrayal, and many more complaining markers can lead to chronic complaining. In its spiral form, complaining is one harmful habit to avoid, but how? With patients, grit, and honest self-awareness, you can take back your positive mind by focusing your mouth on more positive things and fewer complaints. If you catch yourself in a spiral of complaining or find you feel worse and even complain more after a specific event or hanging out with a particular person, you may want to look closer at the root of what’s going on. You need to recognize something before you can decide if you want to change it or not. An honest self-examination to notice if the complaining is spiraling into more negative or cycling into something better can help recognize and acknowledge what’s underneath the complaining and make room for something new.

When Introspection does not present adequate solutions, ask a trusted friend. It may be helpful to ask others whom you can trust to be kind, sensitive, and also honest if they notice anything obvious about your complaining that you might not be able to see. Listen as openly as you can, remembering that whenever there is something we cannot see ourselves, it might be that we don’t want to see it. Know that you are always the final judge of what you need. Anything from an outside source needs first to be processed within before its wisdom can take hold.

Complaining can become an end in itself rather than merely seeing what’s not working. When complaining becomes too much of our identity, transforming it into a higher art form can be simply following a complaint or a group of similar complaints to its natural conclusion, finding a solution, and applying it. Transforming complaining into something positively useful begins with turning our complaining mind and critical eyes towards things we can actually do something about then take positive action. Our positive action then re-enforces the constructive element of complaining – the desire from within signaling us to make some changes.

  • What do I want to create in place of whatever I’m complaining about?
  • What do I want to create in place of whatever it is I desire to eliminate or change?

Next time we’re about to complain, ask and write down in a journal or aloud to ourselves rather than lashing out at an organization or another person a positive question around what we would like to create in the place of whatever it is we desire to eliminate or change. The positive action we then take completes the cycle and places complaining into its proper role of signaling that we want change. Channeling a negative habit into a creative process is one of the most empowering acts we can gift ourselves. It’s not easy. It requires honest self-awareness and compassionate action. When we do this, we transform negative energy from within to change the world around us in a positive way.

“Go 24 hours without complaining. (Not even once.) Then watch how your life starts changing.”

Anonymous

Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Takeaway From Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 06 December 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Today’s Takeaway from Free Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching – via ZOOM – 06 December 2020 is:

“Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.”

Brené Brown

The year 2020, with all the breaks imposed on us from work and travel routines, has forced us to look inside. One of the issues many of us discovered is self-worth. When we don’t dare to enforce our boundaries and feel like, again, we gave away too much, our feelings of self-worth can be affected negatively.

The pause imposed on us by the pandemic can create valuable space to work on things like boundaries. Think about how you can make some different habits. Are you allowing or even inviting to be taken advantage of? Realize that you cannot just give or serve limitless. There will be a straw that breaks the camel’s back. Use friends, maybe a coach, make notes or journal about situations that help you identify where you are not protecting boundaries. 

Commit to yourself! Make 2021 a year of healthier boundaries!

Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 06 December 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Find answers, take actions, & get results – Coffeeshop Coaching!

Join me online via-ZOOM for my next Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching! It’s free! You help choose the topic and direct the group discussion by answering a few questions when you register. To register, click this link: 06 December 2020

  • Be prepared to share something you discover from the questions you answer when you register, and ask more questions to the group via chat during the ZOOM- Coffeeshop Coaching.
  • Think about what you would like to hold yourself accountable for, and your possible next step. A coaching journal is a great way to create accountability and track your success!
  • Open your mind and together let’s uncover new perspectives and valuable takeaway tools for your life!

Virtual Coffeeshop coaching is confidential while using a more relaxed and informal platform that being part of an online coaching group can provide, and can be done from the comfort of your home, no need to travel! We meet online via ZOOM over a cup of coffee, tea, or whatever is appropriate for your time zone. Every participant and Coach Melody will join from their respective current global locations which gives the event a very international touch. Diversity is an added twist of value as each of the international participants contribute from their specific approaches adding a variety of new perspectives. Perspectives are valuable in the coaching process for clarity, opening up and leaning into what’s new in any change process. This gives a great latitude in creating tools for change. These group coachings usually last 90 minutes, and they are FREE!

If you are struggling with big changes in your life, need to make a decision, or just need to be heard, coffeeshop coaching can be the perfect platform for you. Coaching is a productive relationship enabling YOU to:

  • Creatively explore solutions
  • Prevent self-sabotage
  • Take actions that move YOU forward
  • Achieve YOUR goals
  • Attain clarity in what YOU want

Life is meant for awesome adventures, good friends, great coaches, and LOTS of coffee!

Melody Taylor-Fliege

NOTE: If the link above does not work, copy and paste this link directly into your browser https://lifecoachingwithmelodyllc.as.me/coffeeshop-coaching-free-virtual-group or go directly to the booking page on my website and click on the Free Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching appointment. To sign up follow these steps: 1) click the registration link, 2) click the orange set time zone button, 3) choose date, see the time, and click continue, 4) answer a few questions, 5) click the orange complete appointment button, 6) then you will see a confirmation page and receive an email with the ZOOM link, meeting ID, and password to be used when you join the meeting on Sunday.

Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Takeaway From Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 01 November 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Today’s Takeaway from Free Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching – via ZOOM – 01 November 2020 is:

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.”

Thomas Jefferson, 3rd US President

The range of topics today was as diverse as the nationalities of the group. One challenge that I enjoy, is holding the space and harmonizing the diversity at so many levels into a 90-minute virtual group coaching that is targeted to allow individuals to walk away expanded into a higher-vibration of themselves. Another part of holding the space that I love is reading everybody’s answers to the registration intake questions while preparing for this group. The coaching begins long before this group meets.

A standout takeaway from today is around motivational drivers.

  • How are we motivated extrinsically and intrinsically?
  • What’s underneath how we feel, think, and take action?
  • How do we identify our motivators?

Being motivated by the drive to help others is great. However, taking care of our physical and emotional needs first is just as valuable. The sacrifices you make on behalf of others can both please and pain you at the same time. Recognizing emotional signals; and interpreting what they might be expressing about wants vs. needs in our life-tasks, is a never-ending challenge. It is an innate part of our journey through life.

Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 01 November 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Find answers, take actions, & get results – Coffeeshop Coaching!

Join me online via-ZOOM for my next Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching! It’s free! You help choose the topic and direct the group discussion by answering a few questions when you register. To register, click this link: 01 November 2020

  • Be prepared to share something you discover from the questions you answer when you register, and ask more questions to the group via chat during the ZOOM- Coffeeshop Coaching.
  • Think about what you would like to hold yourself accountable for, and your possible next step. A coaching journal is a great way to create accountability and track your success!
  • Open your mind and together let’s uncover new perspectives and valuable takeaway tools for your life!

Virtual Coffeeshop coaching is confidential while using a more relaxed and informal platform that being part of an online coaching group can provide, and can be done from the comfort of your home, no need to travel! We meet online via ZOOM over a cup of coffee, tea, or whatever is appropriate for your time zone. Every participant and Coach Melody will join from their respective current global locations which gives the event a very international touch. Diversity is an added twist of value as each of the international participants contribute from their specific approaches adding a variety of new perspectives. Perspectives are valuable in the coaching process for clarity, opening up and leaning into what’s new in any change process. This gives a great latitude in creating tools for change. These group coachings usually last 90 minutes, and they are FREE!

If you are struggling with big changes in your life, need to make a decision, or just need to be heard, coffeeshop coaching can be the perfect platform for you. Coaching is a productive relationship enabling YOU to:

  • Creatively explore solutions
  • Prevent self-sabotage
  • Take actions that move YOU forward
  • Achieve YOUR goals
  • Attain clarity in what YOU want

Life is meant for awesome adventures, good friends, great coaches, and LOTS of coffee!

Melody Taylor-Fliege

NOTE: If the link above does not work, copy and paste this link directly into your browser https://lifecoachingwithmelodyllc.as.me/coffeeshop-coaching-free-virtual-group or go directly to the booking page on my website and click on the Free Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching appointment. To sign up follow these steps: 1) click the registration link, 2) click the orange set time zone button, 3) choose date, see the time, and click continue, 4) answer a few questions, 5) click the orange complete appointment button, 6) then you will see a confirmation page and receive an email with the ZOOM link, meeting ID, and password to be used when you join the meeting on Sunday.

Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Takeaway From Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 04 October 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Today’s Takeaway from Free Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching – via ZOOM – 04 October 2020 is:

“Discernment is the son of good judgment and the father of self-control. When mixed with an already clear conscience, the ability to read the true motives of a critic keeps one’s conscience both clear and at ease.”

Criss Jami

An intriguing poll question around strength vs. weakness opened up our virtual coaching. In today’s group coaching, we considered how our perceived weaknesses could surprisingly be strengths, but also the other way around. Perception is powerful with our thoughts, actions, and even emotions. We cannot expect others to identify our worth for us; it’s up to us to claim our own value instead of depending on external validation. The same gifts that can make us successful in life can be burdens depending on the circumstance and left unchecked.

Today’s word clouds created different perspectives of what this internationally diverse group values.

Today we also switched breakout rooms twice to add variety, and several people mentioned receiving similar feedback from different participants.

Questions, an essential element of coaching! I share a few questions that developed from this group coaching:

  • What simple strategies can effectively help me tackle big emotions?
  • How can I bring in more humor, joy, and fun to each day?
  • How can I give myself more time, space, and love for processing and transforming, although life is chaotic?
  • What will stabilize and balance me right now?
  • How do I take what is offered, even in weakness, and transform it into a strength?
  • What are my intentions underneath the most important things I want to achieve for life?
  • What simple strategy can help me find peace, accept what is, and feel confident right now?
  • What is discernment? How do I better discern information coming to me?
Image of a coffee shop setting background with Coach Melody and the words Free Group Coaching Via-ZOOM Coffeeshop Coaching Virtual 04 October 2020

Posted by & filed under Coffeeshop Coaching.

Find answers, take actions, & get results – Coffeeshop Coaching!

Join me online via-ZOOM for my next Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching! It’s free! You help choose the topic and direct the group discussion by answering a few questions when you register. To register, click this link: 04 October 2020

  • Be prepared to share something you discover from the questions you answer when you register, and ask more questions to the group via chat during the ZOOM- Coffeeshop Coaching.
  • Think about what you would like to hold yourself accountable for, and your possible next step. A coaching journal is a great way to create accountability and track your success!
  • Open your mind and together let’s uncover new perspectives and valuable takeaway tools for your life!

Virtual Coffeeshop coaching is confidential while using a more relaxed and informal platform that being part of an online coaching group can provide, and can be done from the comfort of your home, no need to travel! We meet online via ZOOM over a cup of coffee, tea, or whatever is appropriate for your time zone. Every participant and Coach Melody will join from their respective current global locations which gives the event a very international touch. Diversity is an added twist of value as each of the international participants contribute from their specific approaches adding a variety of new perspectives. Perspectives are valuable in the coaching process for clarity, opening up and leaning into what’s new in any change process. This gives a great latitude in creating tools for change. These group coachings usually last 90 minutes, and they are FREE!

If you are struggling with big changes in your life, need to make a decision, or just need to be heard, coffeeshop coaching can be the perfect platform for you. Coaching is a productive relationship enabling YOU to:

  • Creatively explore solutions
  • Prevent self-sabotage
  • Take actions that move YOU forward
  • Achieve YOUR goals
  • Attain clarity in what YOU want

Life is meant for awesome adventures, good friends, great coaches, and LOTS of coffee!

Melody Taylor-Fliege

NOTE: If the link above does not work, copy and paste this link directly into your browser https://lifecoachingwithmelodyllc.as.me/coffeeshop-coaching-free-virtual-group or go directly to the booking page on my website and click on the Free Virtual Coffeeshop Group Coaching appointment. To sign up follow these steps: 1) click the registration link, 2) click the orange set time zone button, 3) choose date and click continue, 4) answer a few questions, 5) click the orange complete appointment button, 6) then you will see a confirmation page and receive an email with the ZOOM link, meeting ID, and password to be used when you join the meeting on Sunday.

Download my free Relationship Shared Journal interactive pdf, image of a couple sitting on a sofa reading separate newspapers

Posted by & filed under Relationships.

You can download my SHARED RELATIONSHIP JOURNAL free from the yellow section of my website. It is an interactive pdf with instructions to walk you through getting back to LOVE.

If it is hard to bring up the difficult conversation or it’s really hard to stay in the difficult conversations with each other. Having a shared journal that you pass back-and-forth or share in a cloud space could provide the interchange necessary to get your relationship back on track.

There are 13 primary questions to journal to, but feel free to add other questions along the way. Add questions that you want to know the answers to; even pose questions to each other. Just make sure they are not argumentative questions that make the other person have to defend him or herself. Let them be questions like, “I’m curious about you. I want to know you better. Tell me about this.” Make sure you are coming from a place of curiosity that leads to more understanding and knowledge of each other. This is where the journal is useful because it gives you time to get to that place in your heart, rather than just saying it out loud in an argumentative way.

This journaling is about a shared discovery of uncovering honest feelings and emotions of perceptions, observations and discernments of truths and breakthroughs of self and in witnessing each other. It’s about getting to know yourselves and about getting to know your partner. It’s not about making decisions about how the relationship should function. The journal can help you keep turning back to that primary question of “Tell me how you’re feeling, I would like to understand you better.” 

It’s my free gift to you! Download this interactive pdf SHARED RELATIONSHIP JOURNAL from the yellow section of my website. While your there, check out all the other free coaching tools my website offers you, and book your coaching appointment today!

Impostor Syndrome hammer destroying life and quote, “The greatest obstacle for me has been the voice in my head that I call my obnoxious roommate. I wish someone would invent a tape recorder that we could attach to our brains to record everything we tell ourselves. We would realize how important it is to stop this negative self-talk. It means pushing back against our obnoxious roommate with a dose of wisdom.” by Arianna Huffington Co-founder of The Huffington Post, syndicated columnist, author of fifteen books, the founder and CEO of Thrive Global

Posted by & filed under Uncategorized.

“The greatest obstacle for me has been the voice in my head that I call my obnoxious roommate. I wish someone would invent a tape recorder that we could attach to our brains to record everything we tell ourselves. We would realize how important it is to stop this negative self-talk. It means pushing back against our obnoxious roommate with a dose of wisdom.”


Arianna Huffington
Co-founder of The Huffington Post, syndicated columnist,
author of fifteen books, the founder and CEO of Thrive Global

We all suffer from it, the impostor syndrome! Do either of these sound familiar? You respond to assigned tasks with over-preparation only to contribute any recognition to hard work. You may be responding with procrastination, contributing any success with luck. Other impostor syndrome signals can be turning down promotions, high-exposure projects, or new roles for fear of being exposed as not as intelligent, creative, or talented as your job title indicates or you might feel inside.

Self-doubt is one thing. As a more chronic form of feeling undeserving, called impostor syndrome, where you pass off any achievements as luck or an ability to deceive others into thinking you are more than you perceive yourself to be, can hurt not only you, but all of your relationships, teams, and businesses. The impostor syndrome shows up in more ways than I address here, and there are just as many ways to deal with it. In this blog post, I focus on affirmations and strengthening the intention underneath any affirmation against the impostor syndrome.

Affirmations can be used anywhere, anytime against the impostor syndrome, helping you to reclaim the truth about you. Boosting inner-awareness and self-confidence comes through how firm your intention is underneath what you write, say, or think with an affirmation. Work with your intension more than the exact words. Focus on, meaning your affirmations from the truth of your heart outward. Write your own or use one of the affirmations below against the impostor syndrome.

  • Affirmation 1: Speaking now to my impostor syndrome voices, I say to you that I hear your concerns for me, and acknowledge you are a part of me that I can adjust my volume to you. I choose to now turn down the volume of your voice by also accepting that: I am enough, exactly the way I am. It is safe to be me. It’s ok to feel. I relax into feeling safe, loved, and deserving of all of my accomplishments. I choose to live and trust that every decision I make leads me to a greater abundance of health, self-love, inner peace, and joy. I now create my new future. I now open to experiencing new ways of being me. I take off all masks as I unplug from impostor syndrome, realizing that what is needed is more of my unique abilities. My unique skills nurture every space, situation, and person I connect with, including myself. Greatness lives inside of me; my worth and my value are increasing now. My strength is greater than my struggles, and I see endless opportunities surrounding me. As I breathe into my core, I expand my freedom to unplug from imposter syndrome and reveal the real deal, me as I am, claiming every single one of my successes, owning my accomplishments. I now relax into and trust the process of life, accepting into my consciousness all of my self-love or something better.
  • Affirmation 2: I’m making a choice instead of believing my impostor syndrome voices; I now choose to believe in myself, as I am. I believe in my abilities to creatively figure things out. I see, feel, and hear solutions at just the right moment in every challenge before me. I trust myself more fully with every breath. I now accept and approve of myself. I am strong, capable, and confident in who I am and all that I do. I breathe in love and exhale compassion. I breathe in understanding and exhale confidence. I breathe in joy and exhale tolerance. I breathe in curiosity and exhale acceptance. I am deserving of this role that I now have and worthy of the shoes I am wearing. I add value by showing up, and I don’t have to know everything. I recognize that I am human, and the beauty in my mis-takes allows me to gather even more wisdom. I adapt and adjust my presents to open up and fully receive and accept all compliments with a simple “Thank You.” I know that mis-takes are part of the process and signal that I am the real deal moving to a whole new level. Everyone started somewhere.